Losing Loved Ones

Life isn’t always made for everyone. There are many people who lose their lives. The lost of loved one is the most painful and difficult part in life. It makes a person fall quickly into a deep, dark depression for some days, months, or even years. It allows you to realize how easily and unexpectedly life can be taken away without you or anyone knowing. 

My lost loved one was my father, Isabel Jimenez. It was very devastating to me and my family when we found out about the news of his passing. At the time I was no longer living with him but with my mother only. I didn’t have many opportunities to see him during that period of time and it really caused me to feel sick inside. It was not an illness that could be cured. It was a sort of depression I guess you can say. However, my father suffered from an addiction that could be never turned around. It was the addiction to alcohol. Many people believe it is not a big deal since it’s not an actual type of drug, but it can destroy lives as well as any other drug. Along with my father’s addiction, he also had Diabetes and other health conditions. These health problems made everything worse for his particular situation. In fact, he stopped taking his medication to keep his Diabetes in moderate control. This caused him to feel even more ill than ever before. My father’s addiction was at an all time high. My mother had informed me that my father started showing some signs that he could become into an alcoholic even before I was born. Therefore, he always had a drinking problem but he would stop for a couple of years and fall right back into those same footsteps that kept destroying him day by day. The awkward thing is that my father’s mother had the same problem as him. His mother died when he was only five years old and it was because of that monstrous killer, alcohol. My dad would drink so much that it even astonished me in many ways. He would drink day and night, non stop drinking that killed me inside each time I saw him take even a simple sip.

 The day I got the sad news was on a school day. I was checked out of school and I went home with my old brother and my mother. They told me the news in my room. Right away I bursted into tears like never before in my life. I felt as if the whole world fell to my feet and everything turned dark in my surroundings. My heart dropped instantly and got crushed into tiny bite size pieces.

The day of my father’s funeral and burial was unforgettable. It is an event that can never ever be forgotten. Right in this very moment I can still see him in his coffin, all cold and out of life. It made me realize that he is actually gone from this shady cold world. Could it be a good thing? Was it God who wanted this? Did my father’s mother want him to be with her in heaven? Is my father finally resting in peace? I wonder these things very much.

I just wish I could see my dad again and tell him how much I love him. I wish I could hear his voice and hug him real tight like I always have. I just wish things could have been different in our lives. Even if he was an alcoholic, he was the man that taught me right from wrong, he never treated me wrong, he always took care of me, and he always supported my family any kind of way. He is gone but never forgotten and he will always be in my mind, soul, and heart.